


Happy Birthday

by musikfurfreiheit



Category: Nightwish, Within Temptation (Band)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Sharja - Freeform, don't believe the title, it's very sad okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:40:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25001029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musikfurfreiheit/pseuds/musikfurfreiheit
Summary: A very sad Sharja fic where the title is a lie.
Relationships: Sharon den Adel/Robert Westerholt, Sharon den Adel/Tarja Turunen
Kudos: 1





	Happy Birthday

The clock on her nightstand just changed to 2:13 when Sharon opened her eyes again. It was already the 17th time she succeeded to close her eyes for exactly 59 seconds and to open them right before the clock changed. Only 2 more times, and then she would go.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, hopefully Robert didn’t eat the cupcake, she was not really in a mood to improvise, 23, 24, 25. Was the lighter still working? When was the last time she used it? 37, 38, 39, 40. They used it at Martijn’s birthday, it worked just fine back then. 46, 47, 48, 49, but that was already 2 months ago. 55, 56, 57, 58, 59.

She opened her eyes again and was disappointed when the clock had already changed to 2:14. There was no use in trying again since she didn’t know how many seconds were left so she stared at the clock until it changed again.

The moment the neon green digits showed the hour 2:15 Sharon silently crawled out of the bed, careful not to wake her sleeping boyfriend. On her bare feet she tiptoed through the room and made her way to the kitchen of their apartment. The kitchen wasn’t big, just as the rest of the apartment, and Sharon already knew every single sound of it, even though she’d lived here only for a few months. She and Robert had waited four years to move in together so they had time to collect enough money, which they finally had just a few months before she turned 23.

Carefully Sharon opened the door of the cupboard, stopping right before the moment it would make a cracking noise, and took out the lonely cupcake before closing it again. Soundless she moved through the kitchen to get the candle and the lighter before putting all of them together on the counter. A little sigh escaped her lips as she stuck the candle in the little cake and her hands shook as she lit it. She stared at the little flame that brought back so many memories of a time that seemed so far away before closing her eyes to fight back her tears. Everything had seemed so perfect back then but it all changed in a way that no one could explain, it happened without a warning and Sharon regretted that she hadn’t enjoyed those moments more.

‘Happy birthday, Tarja.’

The whisper still echoed through the empty kitchen as her breath killed the little flame and took all the memories with them. Even though she knew she shouldn’t be eating in the middle of the night, she took a bite from the cupcake but wasn’t able to enjoy it. It just wasn’t the same without her.

When Sharon arrived in the kitchen the next morning, Robert was already enjoying his morning coffee and pointed to the cup of tea he’d made for her. Everything seemed to be normal, until he spoke his first words of the day.

‘Who is Tarja?’

Sharon froze. How did he know? She had never mentioned the girl’s name, was she talking in her sleep? Her mind went crazy as she tried to find an explanation, but failed to find one.

‘She’s… no one.’ Her voice was shaking and so were her hands as she brought up her cup to take a sip of the tea.

‘Then why are you eating cake in the middle of the night for her birthday?’

Sharon didn’t answer. He must have heard her and followed her when she came down, and she hadn’t noticed a thing. Her mind had been too busy with bringing back memories that she hadn’t noticed Robert being there. She didn’t want to talk about it, that’s why she hadn’t told him, but that was not what he had in mind.

‘Sharon, who is Tarja?’

‘She’s dead.’

Her answer shocked her and she immediately covered her mouth, as if she could take back the words that way. She couldn’t believe she had actually said it, that she had actually admitted out loud that the girl was gone. With shaking hands she put down the cup of tea before making her way back to the bedroom, her eyes never leaving the ground and not noticing Robert’s worried face.

The first sob sounded before she sank down on the bed and buried her face in her hands. Technically Tarja had been dead for 2 years already, but not once had she said it out loud. She wasn’t dead, her girlfriend couldn’t be dead, but she knew that was the only explanation.

Both of them were only 16 when Tarja suddenly disappeared and Sharon had done everything to find her girlfriend. She had cursed her for just leaving her alone like that, regretting it only a second later because god knows what had happened to her. The girl had been her first real love and Sharon had never stopped loving her. Even though she had Robert and she truly loved him, she still kept a picture of her and Tarja in her nightstand and celebrated her birthday every year.

She never stopped having hope that one day Tarja would return to her. They would find each other again, just as they had found each other as kids and fell in love. Tarja wasn’t dead, she was just traveling, that was what she told herself even though she knew better.

She had been living a bad nightmare for the last 7 years, but when she said those last words, everything suddenly had turned into reality.


End file.
